At a time when I need help.. When I need people asking if I am okay so I can break down and tell them that everything is not okay. That I’m feeling home sick, and sad and lonely and don’t want my grandad to forget who I am. I need to see him again while he still remembers me, but at the rate his dementia is decreasing he may not know who I am by the time I go back home.  I tend to push them away, the ones that have asked.. Saying that “I don’t want to talk about it”.. I need them to not accept that as an answer and to get me to talk, because I need to. I need to get shit off of my chest. 

Today I took my first stress relief pills, and I’m also back to getting my daily horrible pains in my stomach area. I know I get it from stress because I had it only during my most stressful times in the past. So now I’m back on the painkillers for them. 

I just need to vent everything out, and then at the same time talk like a teenager about how amazing the guy is that she is falling for. About how he “can’t wait to see her tomorrow”, and almost asked her on a date if it wasn’t for her working this weekend.

The fact that the only person that got her to smile today was him has got to mean something as well. And by She, I mean Me. Myself. I. Sophia. 
I’m sorry if this post is muddly or confusing, I needed to get a little bit off of my chest even if it onto a blog that is pretty much dead thanks to my lack of posting. 

I always mean to post photos of my time because I love taking photos, but it’s an annoying process on WordPress that frustrates me. But hey, maybe one day they’ll make it easier…hopefully.. But in the meantime until that day comes, I will try my best to post when I can and I’m sorry for being hecka inactive recently. 

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